Fun At The DMV


In the wonderful state of New Jersey, you’re required to get your car inspected every two years. They claim that it keeps the roads safer, but it does no such thing. Every day, I see cars that shouldn’t even be allowed on the road, and they’re somehow driving with a valid inspection sticker. Go figure.

In any event, my Boxster needed to be inspected last month. I went there early one morning, only to find the statio closed for Lincoln’s Birthday. Gotta love government agencies and all of their observed holidays! So I went back a few days later, and they failed me.

My car has 45K miles, and is driven about 200 miles a MONTH. Yet according to them, my emmissions were almost double what they should be! The legal NOx limit in NJ is 696. I registered nearly 1200. Two years ago, I came in at 27. WTF?!

I did some minor maintenance, got a fresh tank of gas, and warmed up the car before heading over to the DMV. Just my luck, there’s 50+ cars in line ahead of me! And as I’m going through my things, I realize that I don’t have my new insurance card yet. FUCK! So I call my insurance agent, and they print up a new card for me. Now I get out of line, drive CLEAR ACROSS TOWN to pick it up, and then return to the DMV. Total trip took 45 minutes. Now there’s about 100 cars in line! My day just keeps getting better.

1 HOUR LATER, I finally get to the front of the line. They wave me over to Lane 1, and I wait my turn. A trusty DMV employee has me exit my car, and pulls it up about 5 feet. And there it sat, for the next 20+ minutes. All of the cars behind me went into other lanes and blew by me. DMV girl must have gone out for a smoke break or something.

She finally comes back, runs my car through the emmissions test, and I pass. My NOx dropped to 200! I’m thankful that this ordeal is over. I wasted over 3 hours today dealing with this BS!

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